Okay. So I haven’t blogged in a long time because I have been to bummed to report that my body hates me. After I finished the HCG diet I was 15 lbs. smaller. The first day off I ate healthy and gained 7 lbs!! The second day I ate even healthier and gained 8 lbs!! Both days I worked and got a good 800 calorie burn session. So why does my body hate me so much!?
For most people I think they can just shrug their shoulders and say “I guess that my body is just reverting back to it’s healthy weight.” I am not that way though. This last roller coaster has really been hard on me. It is yet ANOTHER failure to add to my list of weight flops. At this point I feel desperate to lose weight. I am not happy at this weight. I am not okay with how my body looks and how I feel in this skin. I am discouraged that I can work out and eat healthy and gain 15 lbs. in two days and a total of almost 25 lbs. in almost 4 months.
At this point I am all but really to be admitted to the loony bin. I am seriously going to fill out my Biggest Loser application today….I know some people may be thinking “You aren’t big. You don’t need to be on the Biggest Loser.” but really I have a good 50 lbs. to lose and it is obvious that nothing I am doing is working. I would LOVE to spend days and days on end from sun up to sun down working out, sweaty, eating healthy, and learning how to keep it off. Honestly I would kill to be on that show…not so much for the show part but for the weight loss part. Don’t you think American needs to see normal sized people lose the weight they have struggled with for years? That would be just as good as an obese person who loses weight. Okay…so the show is a far fetched idea but perhaps some college kid who is majoring in health and fitness needs a subject who they can train for their senior project. I could be a great before and after picture for anyone…They would get an A for sure.
Bottom line is…I don’t know how to lose weight and keep it off. I am willing to do anything someone suggests, encourages, or believes in. At this point I am totally distraught about my weight and don’t know what the next step is.
One thing I am totally positive about is, the next step is not into another clothing store. I went to the mall last night to attempt to find a cute dress. Trying on item after item and not seeing it fit this fat mold is not conducive to the ol’ self esteem. However, shoes could be a different story!




































